Randoms

I love myself. I want who and what that makes my heart skip a beat; I want who and what takes me up on a rainbow
I seekthat who and what.
When I find the who and what, I whirl around the the who and what in solemn circles. Weaving along, a tapestry of promises, dreams and care. Guarding. Cherishing.
Somewhere along I lose my self. it goes flying along some tangent.
Now a self lost is but a selfless.

Selfish love is not a block, but a means to selfless love.

I feel so beautiful today.. There is this person size mirror on the wall in front of my study desk.. and it seems to show someone else . A bespectacled head in an oversized T over an oversized Bermuda over over sized thighs. I feel so headily sure about me being beautiful that am sure the mirror has perception problems.. This usually annoying housefly, that has made me and my study desk, its morning leisure visits, swatting away whom, is my usual morning routine, seems like a poor besotted fellow drawn by my beauty.
Can hear Mommy coming down.. I wonder whether she'll notice

Mission: Sex them plants up.

Tried downloading Tarzan cartoon with Vuze. and when all downloaded and unzipped, it turned out to be Tarzan hard core. And I actually deleted it. which was more than 5 mins before I realised the aberration. I think I've stopped making eggs since I stopped eating them. Travesty. My pug nose would go un-inherited. The red lingerie set Rochelle gave me would go unexploited. More than 5 years of dedicated theory building will go un-empiricised. No singing Freak like me. No dancing DirtyDancing..

I just can't go back to Non Veg. Got the idea of non violenent eating too deep. 'Incepted'.
There is just one option left. Another Inception. On Plants!
Try corrupt the plants. Maybe I can keep some of them veggies bound in playboy covers, and keep them rice and wheat in white satin pillow cover. And maybe I can even play Olivia Newton's song Physical when i cook my Maggi. It oughta soak in then, all the good, carnal and sensuous! And thereby help me recorrupt myself! I always did believe one is what one eats. I just forgot to zoom in on the implications and realise what happen when one eats only Plants, who just leave seeds around when they want a little plant.
Really.
Vegetarians of the World, Unite!. Corrupt those plants! We have nothing to lose but our 'control'!

Lost in interpretation

I was 4 months old.
I reached for a bright pink ball kept near my pillow.
It was too far away, and my grasp failed.
My mom saw my extended hand, and she gave it meaning
She turned my personal monologue into a dialogue
O you want this?, said she, as she leaned forward to take the pink ball and put it in my hand.
Since then it has been happening, happening
People interpreting me. Telling what the sounds and moves i make, mean.
I have learnt the rules. learn to shape coherent responses and dialogue.
And they inturn have given me dolls, pals, golden medals, kisses and poetry
But have taken away, my own personal meanings for sounds and moves and very being itself.
Poorer, growing poorer, as my vocabulary increases..

The truth of my experience is so frustratingly, puzzlingly, non linear. Where are the lines?!

All's love , All's law

Read Browning today.. He said All's love.. All's law. Still haven't gotten over the depth in that statement.. I wanna unravel that line.. But not today, someday it will be truly coherent..

Shiva.Saraswathi; The Violence.The Compassion; in purification

Shiva was woken from his meditations and looked around to discover a world on the brink of corruption and being unsalvageable. Shiva decided it was time to wipe the slate clean. Shiva, the destroyer, opened his world destroying third eye attempting to destroy the three worlds.. Out came a terrible fire that threatened all existence.
There was panic everywhere. Only Saraswati remained calm. “Shiva’s fire burns only that which is impure and corrupt.”
She took the form of a river and with her pure waters picked up the dreaded fire from Shiva’s third eye. Within the folds of her water she carried the fire far away from the earth to the bottom of the sea where it transformed into a fire breathing mare called Badavagni – the beast of doom.
“So long as the world is pure and man wise, this terrible creature will remain on the bottom of the sea. When wisdom is abandoned and man corrupts the world, Badavagni will emerge and destroy the universe,” foretold the wise goddess.