When even maths fail to explain..

I thought I understood multiplication pretty well.
Enough to preidct the Left Hand side = Right Hand side
6* 4 = 24
5*15= 65
Small numbers being multiplied with each other to give a larger number..
But when I tried doing that with time.. why isnt it not so then..
Moments * numbers =/should have been = hours/days/weeks/
But no matter what I substitutes for the variables, moments just always seem to be stronger larger than its multiples in hours days and weeks...
What is in a moment that gets divided then when it is multiplied turns into days.. Whats it in days that get multiplied so strongly when it is divided to give moments..
Thank goodness there is love that annihilates the very concept of time itself..
Else I'd have just cried and cried ... coz of my ignorance that made me so clueless..

Randoms

A red fish in a green tank is a black fish..

Pink.Blink.Gone

Papa lit the camphor cubes.. So that the smoke would drive the mosquitoes out..
I couldnt read. The smoke was hurting my eyes..
I saw this bright pink fly, whirring and circling, whirring and circling, near my table..
Demented it seemed.. Felt so sorry for it.. It was acting as if it has gone mad.. coz of the smoke??
I thought I should take it in my hand, and let it be there.. but what if I'll be frightening it more??
My pen dropped from my hand..
I bent down to pick up.
Taking it, looking again to where the little fly was,
I saw it being clasped tight in the mouth of this big dirt brown lizard..
In the blink of an eye. Dead. In the blink of an eye. Undemented.
Am stunned because I dont know what I felt.
The suddenness took my feeling from me.

Wha's happening with the red dragon?!

Modern biological science defines the menstrual flow as the blood letting of the uterus, in the absence of conception following ovulation. It's a part of the cycle, which's occurance and nature throws light on the dynamics of the cycle and is influenced by the production of hormones like oestrogen in the body.
In Ayurveda the monthly flow is 'raktha moksha' blood detoxification. And depending on the predominance of Vata, Pitta, Kapha, in the body, the nature of it changes. Vata giving scanty flow, Pitta making it profuse and early and Kapha making it thick.

In Tai chi. Its the very flow of chi, the sexual energy. And it even says how an exxagerated flow may lead to loss of 'jing'. In Hindu mythology, it is symbolised as the red seed, the very fluid of creation. So itself, Goddess is dressed in red in her most fertile forms.. In Tai chi, the act of attaining celibacy in women in describes as 'slaying the red dragon'. Intricate, long drawn out practices are prescribed for the same..
Last few months have seen a marked shift in my life.. in the diet chosen..in the meditation done..yoga practised.. not quite the almost impossible routines prescribed by Tai Chi.. but in general, restraint in life.. but..
what is so perplexing to me is, why my red dragon has being so emboldened after it all.
Its been happening actually since the Vipassana meditation.. Right on the 6th day of the meditation, as soon as the most intense of the practice was introduced, the flow began, unexpectedly, a week early.. I was perplexed... It is said when mind becomes still.. consolidated, body too follows.. flowing rasas.. rise up into tapas. Matter sublimating into spirit and energy. But it did not happen to me. Just the reverse.
An aberration i thought. But the aberration repeated itself last month. And when today too came with the flow, I knew it was not an aberration but a certain indication.. some deep change is happening in my body.. or maybe it has already happened..
I now have a 21 day cycle.. As opposed to the normal 28. And I just cant figure out why it should be so. What it implies..
I have heard such a short cycle happening to women in perimeneopause stages.. If thats this, it must mean my estrogen and progestrone levels have gone to really low levels, thereby there being not enough estrogen to suppress FSH and thereby messing up the cycle and causing uterus to shed its endometrial lining prematurely.... hmmmm... i know am no where near the perimenopause age.. but still maybe that means, through the logic of left brain am becoming less womanly..less sexual.
But from Ayurveda and Tai Chi's perspective, its not ovulation but the red flow that is the chi energy..creative energy.. I remember reading how decreased menstrual flow is a sign of decreased sexual vitality.. and an increase in that, shows a profusion of creative energy... Which may mean am becoming more of the creative Shakti, sexual and fertile...
So is the dragon quarter slayed or quarter emboldened???
Gosh I wish rather than knowing a dozen different views, I knew and could believe one way of looking at things, for certain..

In reverence to the unmajestic crows

Today morning, when I went to feed them, they didn't come. The crows. Wondered what I must have done, that upset them. Them and saturn and time. But I needn't have worried.. Had forgotten to take my lunch.. was reading. And then they came to my window and crowed.. oh my dearest crow friends, how happy was i to see you! :-) Two of them came today. Bali kakas. of the darkest black. with the coarsest voice. you crows, you with the energy of shani - the sun's son.. born from a shadow's womb.. who is brother to death, with the coal black eyes and a limp..
the world deems u ugly, coarse.
but heed i do you.. and will continue to, even if am swept upon a cloud..
for i know, time, time, time, is the one that set the stage even for creation..
as Chronos. Castrating Uranus, made life flow from Rhea..
And I find you, the time.
Ubiquituous. loud. yet so very often unheeded...

Condensing Space span

My day used to span earth and the sky
gLee and Sartre and Penck and Jung
Simba and Siva . yoga and belly dancing
But lately it spans just 5'11''
But I find all the seas and stars and songs and thoughts of the world in it! :-D

Mind in a glen, not the mind in a plain

Sun and rain and the field and marsh were all the same
In the plain of solitude hands waving freely by my side
No prayer on the lips, no worry on the mind
Found a feather of fire on the way
Took me to scale a mountain, it did
Have never felt so alive
But at the slighest rumble from the sky
My lips have only prayers and heart beats faster
Let not a drop of rain fall on it
Don't mind, holding tighter, the burns that may be, as I hold so tight
But let not a drop of rain fall on it.